I feel I should apologise for my lack of recent updatage, but unfortunately none of the anti-adware or virus stuff fixed my computer, so I can only hop onto the internet for a few minutes before my screen starts swarming with unwanted ads for all sorts of rubbish! I finally came up with the cunning plan of downloading Firefox, which seems to keep it all at bay a little better, but it still shuts itself down occasionally! So mostly I am involved in the rather long and dull, yet necessary process of backing things up. Fun times!

So, I doubt I'll be about much until I return home and my poor, faithful PC gets a nice overhaul, which should be in about two weeks. It's most annoying, but is allowing me lots of time to read books, and catch up on films etc, so I'm trying to see it as a positive! Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Help! My PC has become infested with adware - for some reason it won't let me access Google so I can't look up how to get rid of it! Any advice/expertise would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

I've not really been posting very much recently, and obviously the best time to make a post to change all that will be Sunday night when no-one is reading anyway! I've cheered up quite a bit since my last little 'woe i me' entry, though that might just be because I've finally been managing to get some proper sleep recently. Not necessarily at the right times of the day, but more that 8 hours for the most part, which I see as winning!

I think the reason I've mostly not been posting is that everything got rather depressing over the last couple of months, and I just didn't have impetus to talk about it, at least, not on here. Basically one of my uni housemates, Vicky, got really depressed this year, to the point where she tried to commit suicide. She didn't succeed, and she's okay, but it was all rather terrifying at the time, and it really felt like the only people who understood were those of us in the house. Vicky's always been slightly unstable, but before it was in a more crazy-funtimes way, unfortunately a whole host of things happened to her in the past year that led her down a rather dark path, and she just didn't know how to deal with it all. She's left the house now, and has gone off to this Christian-retreat place that her church recommended. I looked over the literature and didn't 100% agree with everything it spouted, but this seems to be one of the few places she'll accept help from, so I recognise that she's better off there that dealing with it all on her own.

I feel bad, but I have to say that since she left I've been finding things much easier. I honestly don't think I realised quite how much it was taking out of me, as I was, essentially, being an amateur counselor for a fair amount of hours in a week. I got really distracted and was having to ask for extensions for essays left, right and centre. I had a genuine fear that I would either get in at the end of the day, or wake up in the morning to find that she had done something stupid. At least now I have the peace of mind that she is somewhere where she's being looked after and all I can hope is that she comes out the other side of this process a happier, and healthier person.

There have been other things going on as well; one of my other housemates got admitted to hospital and had to have a blood transfusion due to a chronic condition of his that he tries to ignore. It was also beginning to look like I might be homeless for the next year of uni, though that's hopefully all sorted out now. It's basically been a very busy, very stressful time, though things are hopefully looking up now; I've got no more deadlines until the end of the month, so that should give me some time to sort my head out and relax a bit. I do have the stress of deciding whether I want to do a dissertation next year, but I've got appointments with various members of staff to help me figure all that out and I'm refusing to worry about it until I know all the details.

So, there's my life in a nutshell at the moment. Slightly mental but on the up. Or at least I really hope it's on the up, as I'm not sure I could handle anything else being thrown my way at the moment!

I have been absent from livejournal for soooo long. The past month or so has been absolutly crazy, and definitely deserves a big long post of woe all of it's own. But right now, this is just a little, mini post of woe all about stupid essays that don't make sense and have to be in in 24 hours when all I want to do is curl up with a nice hot water bottle (did I mention the boiler packed up this weekend? ::woe::) and watch rubbishy movies and catch up on all the TV I've been missing and play FFX-2.

I have never felt so unable to write an essay! I'm just completely demotivated and confused. I really don't think I understand the art of Manifesto writing enough to write a convincing essay about it! ::woe::

...

::woe::

So, having devoured the whole of Supernatural in the past two weeks (apart from a few season 1 episodes) I am now all caught up on my televisual viewing. So f'list, I need your wisdom! Which of the following should I get on to *ahemming* and watching? Right now I'm very into the aforementioned Supernatural, Torchwood (gawd help me), Lost (again, I have no idea why) and Bones. I've chosen the five shows that look the most likely to grab my attention. I quite like the look of SCC as I feel I need some more sci-fi on my life to tide me over until BSG starts again, but I haven't really heard much about it, is it any good? If you've got any stellar recommendations for shows I haven't mentioned pls pop them in the box!

Poll #1140536
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Which new teevee show should I check out next?

Any other suggestions??

Thank you very much!

At last, I feel the world is ready for my Martha Jone soundtrack! I've been playing around with this for ages (though not quite as long as my still unposted Dr/Rose mix!) I spent weeks feeling as though I had forgotten everything I'd ever learned in Photoshop, which is why the artwork is rather simplistic. I had to make it because I love Martha to an almost ridiculous degree. When the Doctor asked her to she walked around the world in a year; she never stopped, she never tired, she became a legend and she saved the world. And then she took her life back into her own two hands and walked away from it all, because she had to. All in all, she's pretty bloody ace and I hope this mix vaguely does her justice!



( I feel it all... )

I woke up ridiculous early this morning, which is, I suppose, the side effect of having to be up for uni for 3 mornings this week. My timetable this semester is probably the easiest it's ever been; I'm only in 3 days a week and my days off are Mon and Fri, which means a nice super long weekend! I think I have utilised my time this morning well though. I have uploaded all of my photos from the last couple of months to facebook and given my icons a bit of an overhaul. I really want to find some cool Supernatural icons as I've been getting well into it recently! I'm pretty much all caught up with the series now and am not looking forward to no longer having a backlog of episodes.

I had a rather lovely Valentine's Day with the Boy. Everywhere we wanted to eat was booked up on the Thursday, so we went out on the Wednesday instead to a gorgeous little restaurant called The Walrus and The Carpenter where I had one of the yummiest veggie-burgers I think I've ever eaten. (I'm not a veggie, just not a big fan of beef - the waitress gave me quite an odd look when I asked for a vegeburger with bacon!) Then on Thursday we were both feeling a bit poorly and tired so we just rented Ratatouille and curled up and watched that with a bottle of wine. All very civilised, and a rather fun way to spend my first ever couply Valentines.

And then this morning I have received a lovely amazon order in the post which means I'm sat here bopping away to Robots in Disguise and The Duke Spirit. Loving them both actually, which is nice.

I have a feeling today is going to be a bit of Spring Clean day, both in the real world and the virtual. I might even get round to posting some of the icons and stuff I've got floating around here!

I have just overheard my semi-new housemate laughingly tell his his drunken mates that he was seriously considering selling the playstation 2 so he'd have enough money to go out boozing tonight. This would merely be pathetically laughable if it wasn't for the fact that the playstation 2 belonged to me! It is now removed from the public forum of the lounge and returned to it's rightful place in my bedroom. They've finally left the house to head up to the su for a night of drunken mischief, which would be fine except for the fact that I watched them drive out of here after finishing off a crate of beer between them. In all seriousness if I'd been quick enough to grab the number plate I'd be making an anonymous call to the local police as I type. Bloody reckless children! I can already imagine them indignantly saying that they 'feel totally fine to drive after a few pints - what's the problem!?' Fuckers!

Between this and having to talk a second housemate into getting psychological help this week after she told me she'd been contemplating suicide recently and I'm feeling decidedly like the only sane person in the house. I'm thinking I really should have headed home for inter semester week, but I have enjoyed all the time I've been able to spend with the boy. Here's hoping semester 2 brings more sanity to the table!

Oh and, on an entirely different note, new layout! Thought it was finally time to say good bye to my winter themed layout of snowflakes. Bring on the Spring!

I'm just off to my last exam and appear to be feeling unnervingly calm about the whole thing. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad occurrence, as I usually feel that the panic gives me a certain edge. That and you need adrenaline coursing through you so that you can ignore the searing pain your poor not-written-more-than-a-shopping-list-in-six-months hand during the final hour!

I suppose it could just be that it's a seen exam, so I'm feeling much better prepared than I was on Monday. I'm trying not to think about Monday; it really was quite horrible.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll post about it all in a few days, once I emerge from the haze of the binge that I'm fairly sure will start at 4pm in the SU! Wish me luck!!

Oh good grief! I have my first exam tomorrow and I am now officially freaking out! I've not done near enough revision for it, I've only just read two of the books and I keep getting uppity that we never covered certain things, and then I remember how many lectures I missed (they were at 9am! The morning after student night! It was inevitable!) I don't deserve to use the Hermione icon - she would be ashamed of me!

Our lovely tutor has given us a vague outline of what to expect (or at least, what not to expect) and I hope that what he referred to as 'the Vampire question' is a good'un as that's certainly been the emphasis of my revision. If not... I may as well not bother really. *manic grin*

I feel that all I've really learned about Gothic fiction this semester is that secretly all men are homosexual and everyone wants to get laid by a vampire, or something. The worst thing is that our tutor is something like the world's foremost authority on Dracula and the Gothic, so it's not like I can bluff my way through with my usual bravado, he already saw straight through that on the essay.

I literally cannot wait for this week, and my exams, to be over. Then I shall be a free woman, able to roam the drinking establishments of Bath by night and sit in front of the sky box for hours by day without feeling guilty! It shall be bon!!

I am feeling decidedly blargh. In the past 24 hours I have been given rather conflicting feedback on my academic career, missed an important seminar due to my tutor sending me a ridiculously confusing email, oh, and been accused of 'conspiring against' a housemate who I thought was my closest friend here at uni and thus being left with a less-than-rosy outlook on next years living situation.

I dealt with, if not solved most of these by phoning up my mummy and having a good 2 hour chat with her, which certainly led to me feeling better, even if it didn't really offer me any solutions, and means I will have to deal with a pretty big mobile bill at the end of the month!

I just don't have time to deal with other people's shit right now. I have two exams next week, and still need to read two entire books to be even vaguely ready for them, so listening to a torrent of unfounded, childish abuse from someone who I genuinely didn't expect is from is just the last thing I need.

Still, this time next week I will be done with Uni work and can instead focus on partying and fixing the housing situation. Right now I'm at a place where I just want to leave all my current housemates and their bizarre arguments and traumas behind. I am sick of being their mediator. I mean, I'm sure I'd end up taking on a similar role with whoever I lived with, but at least then I wouldn't get the sickening sense of endless repetition I'm currently surviving through.

Anyway, I apologise. I seem to be using this journal strictly for the venting-of-bad-vibes recently, and that doesn't really give an accurate picture of my life right now. I'm mostly very happy, it's just that everyone around me is apparently batshit-crazy, which inevitably brings you down!

In recompense have this fab little video from my new favourite band The Drunkard's Ball that ma boy helped film. I'll Never Love Another Man Just beautiful!

2007 has been a pretty good year for me, all told. I've entered my first ever long-term relationship, which is both scary and lovely in about equal measures. I've met some absolutely fabulous people, some of whom have become the most amazing friends to me and I can't wait to see how all these relationships develop in the new year. I'm doing surprisingly well at uni despite my hugely self-destructive drive to procrastinate and second guess my work, and have even joined a society and stuck with it, and met even more lovely people through it!

I think my only regret this year would be the growing distance between myself and some old friends, though in most instances that is not on wont of effort on my behalf, so I don't think I should beat myself up too much on that front.

On to the resolutions! I achieved 9 out of 20 last year, and considering a fair few of them were comedy ones, and the rest unlikely (join a gym - hahah!) I don't think that's too bad going.

1. Become more self disciplined, particularly with regard to my work. I've already put this one into action really, and though I'm still fairly bad, I am doing better than last year; now I start my essays the week they're due in, rather than the day. With a little more effort on my part, my life would become so much less stressful, it's really only myself I screw over in the end. So this is an ongoing effort of self-improvement!

2. Much as I love them I must admit that I'm not living with the most sociable group of people on the planet, so I really need to be a little bit more proactive in getting out and about with new people. I have a terrible habit of allowing myself to be infected with my housemates laziness and ennui, and I really want to avoid that this year, to the extent that I might try living with some different peeps next school year, so I really need to make some decisions on that front.

3. Okay, so while I might as well face that I won't be joining a gym any time soon I really do need to introduce some kind of exercise into my life. It seems 25 is the age at which I stopped being the girl who could eat what she liked, do no exercise and not put on a pound; I've been piling them on for the last couple of months and it's now gotten rather dire (I no longer fit into my favourite pair of skinny jeans!) So I will be embarking on some kind of fitness regime in the New Year... honest I will!

So there we go, three reasonably big things, and a whole host of smaller things not worth mentioning. I'm rather looking forward to seeing what 2008 has in store, and I can only hope that it brings you all joy and happiness too! Happy New Year!